Love, trust and sex for people with haemophilia

Starting a relationship and being intimate with someone may lead to new questions arising in your mind about how and when to discuss your haemophilia with your partner. For example, you might be wondering if you need to approach sex with caution. 

Firstly, there is no need to feel embarrassed by questions you might have. Everyone is curious about love and sex, so let’s get started.

Let’s be clear - it’s really up to you

Relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding. That means, all your decisions in a relationship, including when to talk to your partner about your condition or when you want to engage in sexual activity, are up to you and only you. 

Building trust takes time, so you can take as much time as you need until you feel comfortable.

Time to talk…or not

You’ve met someone, and you’re not sure when and how to talk about your haemophilia. Here are some things to think about:

• Do you want to share more about yourself to your new partner? Not just about your condition but who you are, and your thoughts about the world? If the answer is yes, that means you probably want to share important things about yourself to your new partner
• Is haemophilia an important aspect of your life? Do you think sharing your condition will show more about who you are?
• Do you want to build trust with this person? Connecting with others means being vulnerable sometimes, and you will find that nobody is perfect and that your partner may also open up about some challenges that they have in their lives 

If you’re not ready to confide in your new partner, then don’t feel under pressure to talk about things you don’t feel comfortable about. 

If you want to wait until you feel more comfortable or if you feel it is a casual relationship and don’t want to mention your condition, that is the right decision for you.

Matters of the heart

Relationships can be complicated, but that’s also what makes them exciting. If you ever have questions or need someone to talk to, having someone outside of the relationship you can trust is also important. 

If you are looking for advice related to living with haemophilia and dating, talk to someone in your haemophilia network or care team about connecting you with someone who can offer some insights from their own personal experiences.

The next step

When you are ready as a couple for more intimacy, but you have concerns about an active sex life, talk to someone in your haemophilia team that you feel comfortable with about any possible risks.